Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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