After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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