bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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