It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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