Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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