Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize