Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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