The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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