Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
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The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
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You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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