I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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