The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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