oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize