Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.

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  (847): Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part. http://tfl.nu/ui2p
  Replies (15) Good night (427) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity

  (1-209): View more from California

  nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

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  (209): dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity (1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all http://tfl.nu/t93h
  Replies (43) Good night (15438) Bad night (1652) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.

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  (856): I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full. http://tfl.nu/pi6t
  Replies (106) Good night (5209) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?

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  (224): Can you put "designated driver" on a resume? http://tfl.nu/qu7s
  Replies (8) Good night (4414) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar

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  (732): i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar http://tfl.nu/z6xf
  Replies (9) Good night (3205) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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  (208): he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something" http://tfl.nu/rcyf
  Replies (26) Good night (7303) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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  (631): I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me http://tfl.nu/684j
  Replies (9) Good night (2268) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.

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  (802): Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator. http://tfl.nu/tdtw
  Replies (18) Good night (4571) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.

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  (712): buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks. http://tfl.nu/xy6a
  Replies (5) Good night (3236) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  (770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8
  Replies (10) Good night (897) Bad night (2553) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

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  (202): when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him http://tfl.nu/8eei
  Replies (7) Good night (2203) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school

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  (912): It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school http://tfl.nu/xr6r
  Replies (9) Good night (763) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

  (813): View more from Florida

  Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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  (813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (316)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.

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  (773): blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck. http://tfl.nu/370v
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.

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  (610): The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable. http://tfl.nu/zn9i
  Replies (1) Good night (170) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt

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