My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I checked into jail on foursquare
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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