Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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