We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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