oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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