She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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