the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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