yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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