You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize