We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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