Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize