Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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