all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You pole danced in your parka.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize