I skipped work to stalk him.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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