I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize