She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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