i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well you can't waste a boner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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