By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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