And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize