best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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