Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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