You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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