I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize