I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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