I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize