just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize