i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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