if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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