Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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