lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize