it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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