NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize