My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize