I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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