Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize