haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize