I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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