i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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