This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize